This is the funniest thing you will read all day/week/year

From, the Review-Journal, a k a Las Vegas' "newspaper," advertises for a publisher, and I helpfully annotate part of it (I am not applying, FYI):

GateHouse Media LLC, is searching for a visionary (as in willing to make money and sacrifice quality) leader to guide the Las Vegas Review Journal, headquartered in Las Vegas, Nevada, into a new era (Mesozoic?).  First published in 1909, the Review Journal is the leading news organization in Las Vegas (um, false) and publishes high-quality, local content (oh, where can I find that?) while offering innovative multimedia marketing solutions. The newspaper has a Sunday circulation of 138,000 (My God, that is pathetic in a city of 2 million), and over half a milion local adults consume the Review Journal’s news and information through print, online and mobile & tablet devices.  The Review Journal holds a unique position as the influential voice (now THAT is funny) across the entire Las Vegas valley and plays a critical role in lives of its residents, readers and advertisers. The Review Journal is annually recognized by the Nevada Press Association for its news and feature reporting, photography, editorial writing, and page design.